thought i'd drop in. depression sucks.
there's not really any part of it that is ... um... fun? positive? just, nothing. ok. well, it has made me more empathetic. guess that's a positive.
in the going down part i try really hard to stop the slide. then there's the nose above (barely) above water. the going "out" stage - - is hard as well. it's not a smooth upward ascent. it can be hard and abrupt. i keep thinking about the older wooden roller-coasters. clackety clack up. feeling like some of the gears aren't quite connecting and the jerky back and forth. not quite sure when you'll see the top. not quite sure.
the emotions are back. those, too, are fits and starts. i'm sitting here late in the evening and my stomach is in a knot. it feels like the anxiety knot in i get right before. there have been a few tears and anger. still not sorting or naming. just trying to breath and move through. there will be plenty of time on the other side to dissect.
so. back to memorial day weekend. while grace and i were at the tea house, i purchased a pair of angel wings. made from real bird feathers.
sorry to leave you hanging. i'm having technical issues with phones and photos.
i'll be back.
to be continued.
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