remembering

apparently i don't pay much attention to calendars these days. am i the last to realize this weekend is a three day holiday?!!

i have fanTAStic plans.

jack has agreed to help me turn my back porch into this:

hahahaha...okay, sorry. it will be more like this:

but still. pretty for summer. 

the pool opens. and there will be books read, naps taken and some jack time sprinkled in and throughout.

dance on people.

wakey wakey

today annie will bring her awesomeness to my abode. i have no idea what we will be up to this evening but i do know it will be memorable.

and pass the red bull please.

dance on people

speak up. i can't hear me

i'm in a right bad mood this morning.

here's the gig. i've spent the major amount of my life trying to make someone else happy. which one of the byproducts is not speaking up - not having my own voice.

i've come a long way but there are places i still don't speak. i could choose to continue to be the victim and blame others - the way they treated me, etc, but that is behind me now. now it's my choice.

i don't want to be voiceless anymore.

dance on people

i'm glad i have a job

on mondays  i always have to tell myself that i am blessed to have a job that helps me pay the bills or mondays would just SUCK. who likes mondays, anyway?

(i'm blessed to have a job that pays the bills.)

my weekend away went very well. i'd post photos but i forgot to ask jack's permissions before i show him off.

of course he can't take a straight photo of us. goofball.

he agrees that the j bar has the best burger ever. and that aunt is a fab cook.

and he and uncle completely chatted up politics and everything that is wrong with our world. these subjects are sort of taboo between us. it's not that we don't have the same view point - we do - it's just that i find it SO depressing to talk about all the crap in the world. at least to me.

anyway.

i think he had fun. i'm kinda waiting for him to stop calling me.

my family is a good bunch. but, really? who takes someone to meet family at this stage?

apparently i do.

dance on people.

R&R

i'm taking a holiday this weekend. and...jack is coming with. i'm looking forward to showing him a place and peoples that i enjoy.

have a great weekend and i'll see you on the other side.

dance on people

happy anniversary to me

twice today i realized that today would have been my 25th anniversary. both times it was just an "oh hey" acknowledgment. 

i remember the day he left and i truly, literally fell to my knees. i remember thinking i would die. i remember thinking my counselor was wrong - that there would be a day, or many more days that i wouldn't think about him. i remember collapsing in the woman's bathroom at work when i got orders for divorce. the anger when i found out the adulterous betrayal. 

and today? i know. know. i am so much better than i was before.

here's to many more years to wholeness, happiness, health, love and full life.

happy anniversary to me.

dance on people

the perfect man

just saying we are having a good conversation over at bye bye pie about the perfect man...interesting...