this is some serious shit, man.
let me say up front that i would not choose to stay on these pain meds if i had an endless supply. i am not walking around on a pink cloud, seeing fluffy kittens and laughing at inappropriate moments.
taking the pain meds dull the pain of my burn site. that's it. well, and now that i'm on my downscale schedule -- when i'm not on the pain meds i feel like the flu has hit.
in trying ever to be vigilant about being not being a closet pain med junkie that i have pushed myself further than expressed by my doctor. for instance my new bottle states 1 pill every "x" hours. and i have not been paying attention. sometimes going some what longer, alot longer, etc. however, then i feel like crap.
so i'm back to setting my alarm to be on schedule.
in my fantasy world i would be on leave...um...which reminds me...some people think that i'm still at home recovering. yeah, no. i think i may have had 5 work days off? then i was working from home where i could sleep, work, sleep, work...and now this is my second week back "in" the office.
and some one feeding warm meals in my bed, brushing my hair, rubbing my back and maybe even reading to me.
then there's reality.
*sigh*
i need to change my trajectory.
i am thankful that i have an understanding boss and job where they have been flexible with my limitations
i am thankful that brooke is safe
i am thankful i got a working phone today
i am thankful for soft clothing
i am thankful for peanut m&ms
peace peeps
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