today i was given a gift.
these past years have chipped away at what i trusted. i questioned everything. how did i miss that? what did i do wrong? none of this logical but then so much isn't logical. it's my heart. my heart has taken a beating. i gave it away. in the name of what i thought love was. what defined marriage. i gave it away.
when i realized i gave away - away to much - then i wanted it back. safe.
when i found it back inside me again i didn't trust it. i had lead myself...or allowed myself to be lead away. how do i trust me again?
for months now my journey has allowed me to see. see things that others don't see. not in a "i see ghosts" way but a knowing seeing. with all the seeing i didn't trust. i didn't believe.
this morning my prayer was "let me see you. i know you bless me every day. but today, let me see you. open my eyes."
and in this day i saw him. in me. guiding me. telling me. that i could trust me. him in me.
giving me back a my heart. my trust.
dance on people.
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