Just say no

You know what? Doing the right thing hurts like a mo'fo.

Yesterday I had to put my listening ears on and keep my mouth (mostly) shut while I listened to Brooke. And no I won't say what she talked about cuz family reads this blog and it's her private business.

Then last night it hit me. The few words I thought I knew were advice to myself. You know it's so much better to lead by example. So.

When Richard left all of my worth was gone. Gone gone with the wind. And it didn't matter what anyone said. I still asked what was wrong with me? Why wasn't I worth it?

Then I realized that every person has to figure out their own worth. God and me. Working that out for some time.  And I took my own medicine. I text my friend and said "Im worth it. You're either all in or bye." and although he totally admitted I was worth it he cashed in his chips. And ohemgeeee it hurt. But it hurt because I cut the strings that were starting to feel. Because I am worth the whole deal.

It refreshed how I felt when Richard left. I still think I was worth fighting for and I cry tears for the consequences that continue to reverberate through my family. But instead of my self worth being it shattered pieces it's beginning to believe. I'm worth saying no to someone who doesn't think I'm worth it.