yesterday i went to see this movie. the first movie i've seen by myself. since, you know, being single and all. myself. while i was sitting waiting for the movie to begin brooke text me.
seems richard has applied for and been accepted for a job opening in a foreign country. i was livid. livid, i tell you. that man knows how to run away from every one of his problems -- and then makes more in doing so.
everyone likes to tell me that brooke is all grown up now and that it is her problem and not mine. and although i've tried very hard in this new stage of life to keep my nose out of her and richard's relationship - all i gotta say is...wait to you have your own kid and someone comes along and wounds them. deeply.
even in the bloom of my life 40s both my parents were defensive and angry and richard for the pain he caused me. being a parent never goes away. or as someone should tell richard, it shouldn't.
so richard and i had words. and somewhere between crying and watching this movie something clicked. i want to fight. i'm weary of the wreck and ruin that is in my life. because i have a dark enemy of my soul. of all that is mine.
there's this scene in the second lord of the ring movies - where you can see that the king has been put under a spell. one that makes him hard of seeing and hearing the truth. and not that this in my instance; however, i have not been willing to fight.
fighting means cost. but it costs even if you don't fight. we are in a war. between good and evil. and it rages on around us and through us whether we know, acknowledge or participate. so if wounding comes, if loss is present what do you choose?
fight the good fight of faith. from a pure heart and a clean conscience.
dance on people
No comments:
Post a Comment