The cup

I'm trying to rethink something. You know how sometimes you don't realize you have a thought about something until ...yeah.

So I realize that I think/though that everyone had their cup of sorrows to bear. And when the cup was full you got to pull your ticket and not have any more tragic things happen in your life.

Then comes along my friend who upsets my apple cart. Of course my apple cart is the last thing she is thinking of.

In 2008 the love of her life, meet in college, travel the world, raise a family, empty the nest, start really enjoying their own space...he dies. Massive heart attack a whole united states away. No goodbyes. Warnings that were only seen in hindsight.

We used to talk in the dark places about wanting to die. We laughed over the inside joke that we both tried just not breathing. (It doesn't work. Just sayin).

I held her hand and helped her gather all the right documents, go to social security...all that. And still his death lingered over her for a good three years.

So fought the fight. Sometimes. She was mad as hell at God. A lot. She screamed and swore at both God and her beloved for leaving her here in this shit hole of life.

She moved back home. To her family and two of her grown children leaving behind one son, his wife (who had just gone a round of treatment for cancer) and her one grandchild.

Fast forward to 2011. She found a new love and married him in 2012. He loves her. And her children and now two grandchildren. She's happy.

And then. Eff'n those "and thens"

He has cancer. The best prognosis is to take the leg, his hip and half of his groin.

...

I don't understand. I know she doesn't either.

"For God so loved this world that He gave his only begotten Son that whosoever would believe in Him will have eternal life." John 3:16

To this I hold or otherwise the only other answer is to try and stop breathing.

Dance on