one year ago today my life was torn apart.
a farmer deeply cuts the earth and you see all. the hard top soil, the raw underground ... the weeds being torn asunder.
i walk around partially dead...partially alive. the more i live without you the more i see that you broke me. that day and every day we lived as one.
in kindness friends mirror to me my broken parts. places that were masked by you but underground still broken.
this is what i hold on to. one day He looked from above and said, 'no more'. no more will you damage what i created. no more will you betray and destroy her.
one year ago today my life was torn apart.
one year from today i will be more whole. without you. more me. without you. more alive.
You have made it so far in one year. It will get better every day. You are moving on, got your apartment and will be less attached every day that goes by. I am only on 4 months after the day my marriage ended, I hope by the time I get to one year after I will be a lot better. One day at a time, right?
ReplyDeleteThat is a lovely post/poem. I am a BBP import from a while ago and have been reading your new blog. I read some of your old posts before all of this happened and in this post I see that while you feel broken, your spirit is alive and healing.
ReplyDeleteI was in a similar situation in the early 90's and it took me 2 years to feel like I was *ME* again. You're doing great! Remember to be kind to yourself--the feeling of just being nice to "me" really helped me to push on even when I didn't think I was going to make it.
Kim