today

 So how are you today? I have no new artwork to share. I think I will forever be "working through" my ADHD. BTW, if I haven't said, my appointment is Nov 11th. Still trying to read articles, etc., to find ... what is it that I'm trying to find. Some days I think, "this is my brain. This is how it will be. Why put energy into_________________ because it's my mind." Mostly when I'm not on medication. 

Maybe the diagnosis of ADHD helped make thing make sense. As though I'm not dumb. However, I still feel my brain is defective. Unlike, neurotypicals. Fancy word for those who do not have hindering mental conditions (?). 

But during the time I am not medicated I haven't found anything that sticks. I did make a list of things to be accomplished before bed. And those are the bare minimum. 

I thought I needed a transitional action to separate work from non-work. The last 2 days I have tried meditation and it has helped. However, consistency is not an ADHD strength. 

Oh. I took a test from Smart But Scattered a Guide to Success. After the test I was asked to identify my top 3 strengths and my lowest 3 strengths. And, btw, this is on executive skills.

Top 3 strengths

Organization (to create and maintain systems to keep track of info/materials) everything has a place and every place has a thing. And to not do so causes havoc. 

Time Management (estimate how much time one has, allocate and stay within limits) Eh. 

Stress Tolerance (thrive in stressful situation and cope with uncertainty) I do not know how this ended up in my top strengths. I can work under pressure but uncertainty -  no. It's hard to take a test medicated vs non-medicated

Top 3 weaknesses

Response inhibition (to think before you act) since forever. no confusion here that this is a major weakness

Task Initiation (begin projects without undue procrastination) there are varying degrees of procrastination. I believe. 

Goal-directed Persistence (have a goal, follow through to completion and not be distracted) Ha! so much of this history in my life. 

Speaking of keeping track of time I'm not but a few hours of bed time and I know there is a list of thing that need to be attended to. 

Be kind. You don't know what people are going through.