boredom

this is currently my life. wait. this has always been my life. it always will be my life. current, jury is still out, i think boredom is one of the hardest parts of ADD.  my brain has "abnormally low levels of dopamine". " In addition to having low levels of dopamine, when an activity is not inherently interesting, the reward center in your brain doesn’t get activated because dopamine isn’t released."  THE CONNECTION BETWEEN DOPAMINE AND BOREDOM IN ADHD ADULTS

that's why i have made impulse decisions - even risky decisions - to get some excitement goin on in my brain. and while not treating my add - i literally do not have the ability to control so much of that. a great 'nother plus plus of this stupid adhd.  

next month i have an intake appointment with a therapist who specializes in add/adhd.  i have to learn new behaviors. i just can't goin through the rest of my life not doing the things i don't want to do...because their boring. and because i am on high alert i see myself be distracted ALOT ... as in right now i need to get my dinner cooked. and the list goes on. so for awhile this will be my journey/journal good, bad and ugly of my adult adhd.